So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
