I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
