New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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