butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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