He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
