Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
