I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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