Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
