Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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