i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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