Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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