I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
