How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
