quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
