It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
