Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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