She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
