They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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