She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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