all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
