Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
