I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it wasn't lemon gatorade
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
