Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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