he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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