Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
