I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
