nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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