I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
