So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
where does the pee come out of this thing
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
