We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
