Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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