that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
