I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
