Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
