apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
