So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
