im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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