Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
