Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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