Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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