I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
her facebook's as public as her vagina
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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