whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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