how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
