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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
