as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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