My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
