:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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