Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
