So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
