Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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