oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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