I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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