well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
