im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
